Principal News
Dear Parents and Caregivers,
Students and staff are settling back into the routines of school and it is pleasing to see the smiles of so many throughout the school day. The added bonus of the rain appears to have lifted the spirits of everyone as well. It is so nice to look out across the school and see the oval and gardens looking so green and lush.
We want many things for our children: for them to be happy and successful, to do well in school and to ultimately be better prepared for the real world. We also want them to become many things, none more important or impactful than if they turn out to be honest-to-goodness kind.
Kindness has such a ripple effect on those around us.
I recently read a research article by a Harvard Psychologist, Richard Weissbourd on spreading kindness in the world. His stated mission is to spread kindness by raising children “who care about others and the common good”. The psychologist found that 80% of children said their parents were more concerned about their achievement or happiness than they were about whether they cared for others.
Additionally, the child interviewees were three times more likely to agree that “My parents are prouder if I get grades in my classes than if I’m a caring community member in class and school.”
Wherever you fall on the spectrum, there’s always opportunity to better foster the vital trait of kindness.
So what can we as parents and educators do?
Following are 5 kindness kick starters for us all:
- Don’t just role model kindness. Live it as a core value.
Values are those little things we do each day that exemplify who we are. The daily little impressions that leave a huge permanent impression.
- Verbalise kindness as a priority.
Weissbourd says instead of saying to your child, “The most important thing is that you’re happy,” say “The most important thing is that you’re kind.” It’s about getting your child to balance their needs (achievement) with the needs of others. It also requires holding the child to high ethical standards.
- Expand your child’s circle of concern.
Every child starts out with a small universe of people they care about. It’s our job to help them extend that circle out to include their peers, new students, the elderly neighbour or those less fortunate. It’s important that children learn to consider how their decisions affect others (like the example of quitting a sports team).
- Help children manage destructive emotions and avoid mean-spirited behaviour.
Anger, jealousy, and similar negative emotions can derail anyone from acting as desired, especially already-emotional children. Weissbourd says that children need to know that all feelings are natural, but not all ways of handling those feelings are Okay. The old-fashioned method of defusing anger works – STOP, PAUSE, BREATHE THROUGH YOUR NOSE, EXHALE THROUGH YOUR MOUTH, COUNT TO FIVE. The catch is to practice it with them first – when they’re not in the middle of an outburst.
- Practice, practice, practice.
Daily repetition is key, as it is with the formation of any habit. It’s especially powerful when your child practices expressing gratitude.
Together let’s keep fostering the vital trait of kindness.
Thanks for reading.
Madonna